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Dear Bubbies: Too Picky For Love At 50?

Don't know what to do? Go ask your Bubbie.  

June 12, 2019

Welcome to our new weekly feature 'Dear Bubbies' where a salty and sweet crew of Jewish grandmothers answer your most pressing, funny or downright embarrassing questions with real-life advice. They're sometimes tough, always right. Don't know what to do? Go ask your Bubbie.  

Dear Bubbies: 
I am a divorced 50-something woman, with adult children who are thankfully living out of the house.  I enjoy dating.  I really do.  But the problem is that men I meet just do not seem to check off enough of the boxes on my checklist.  I am not that picky. I really am not.  But I just feel like they should check off at least 50% of the boxes on my checklist.  What do you think, Bubbies? I need your help. 
From, The Box Checker
 
 
 
Dear Box Checker: 
 
Enough already.  Enough.  Too many of us have a list of “musts” that we need to find in a potential partner.  He must be this way.  She must be that way.  Give me a break.  These must-haves from these darn checklists are a total waste of time.  They are completely selfsabotaging. 
 
You can say that you are not picky.  Please.  If you got a checklist, you are too picky.  Stop being so picky.  You know we are right when we say checklists are just an excuse not to get involved. 
 
“Oh, he’s too short …” “And, she doesn't like sports …” “But, he doesn't like to exercise …” “The thing is we don’t like the same food …” 
 
Who cares? Forget about it. You are just making giving up and being alone a lot easier. It’s time to get rid of that checklist.  Kiss it goodbye.  And good riddance to it.   The moment you throw out that checklist is the moment you start taking dating seriously. 
 
Instead of checking off boxes, check to see if there is a connection.  Check to see if you enjoy their company.  Check to see if you want to spend more time with them.  Check to see if they make you laugh.  Check to see if they make you smile.  Check to see if they inspire you.  Check to see if you can imagine building a relationship with them.   
 
Stop checking boxes.  Check your feelings.  Trust us, it’s not checking off all those boxes that determines your compatibility. It’s the feeling you get when you’re together. 
 
So start letting your heart lead, instead of your brain or some other part of your body.  As cliché as it may sounds, it’s the truth.  We know.  We’re the Bubbies and Bubbies Know Best.   
 
You can watch Host Erin Davis and your favorite Jewish Grandmothers - Bubbies Bunny, Linda and S.J. - on Bubbies Know Best on Jewish Life Television, JLTV, Mondays at 8:00PM.  In the Detroit metropolitan area, JLTV can be found on DirecTV Channel 366 and Spectrum Channel 178.