Kathleen Madigan doesn’t hate her mom. It just seems that way, because she’s always at Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle the weekend of Mother’s Day.
“Mom told me she’s quitting her parental responsibilities. She’s tired of it. Like there’s a form for that.” She’s having fun, of course. Turns out she saw Mom last weekend. This is to our benefit because Kathleen is very funny. Especially when it comes to politics…
Cue the Mitt Romney theme music… “His handlers make so many mistakes trying to make him not seem rich,” she told me, “Don’t. We all know he’s rich. They try to dress him like normal guys, he’s got like mom jeans on, and his shirt doesn’t look right. Everywhere he goes he looks like a cop at a party. Dude, we’re on to you. He’s been wearing a suit since he’s four. Put him in a suit. He went to school in a suit, they carry briefcases apparently at Cranbrook. If I was him I’d go ‘I am. I am fantastically rich. I have bought things and created things that you haven’t even thought of because you’re not rich enough to think of them. I have an elevator in my house for my car. Has that ever entered your mind? No, no, no, no. I might even make stuff up. You know I’m so rich I have a unicorn!’ You know the press would go let’s see the unicorn and I’d go No, not yet. If, however, I am elected…Romney doesn’t need this job. He’s so rich he never has to do another thing again ever in his entire life and neither do his children. So he should say Look, I don’t need this job. I am trying to help you stupid morons get to the fantastic place where I live, which is rich.”
Kathleen Madigan for Vice President. That’s what I think. Check out her platform at www.comedycastle.com or call 248-542-9900 for Kathleen Madigan this weekend.