Reverend Linda Newman studies the alignment of the stars each week to bring you in depth astrological predictions. She is a third generation astrologer, holistic wellness practitioner and mystic student. You can catch up with her on her weekly radio show Answers on

 Horoscopes For the Week Of December 18, 2011
aries Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Aries: Oh geez, what begins as a tiny little project this week, will grow like yeast bread dough left out in the afternoon Sun. It starts simply enough when you discover that the trim around the front door needs a little touch up. That’s when you head for the basement and find that you are out of paint. So you drive to the Home Improvement Center ( Virgo heaven ya know) and they match your paint chip. Buut, it doesn’t match, after all there are thousands of shades of beige. The great part is that the new colour is quite nice, so your only option is to go back to the store for more. The next thing you know, it’s days later and your pockets are filled with paint swatches and cute little decorating flyers. You may as well forget your social life, unless you want to organize a painting party. Yep, it’s clean up, paint up, fix up time and all of the lovely touches that you bring into your environment will be more than worth the effort. This is a small giftie from Uranus in your Sun Sign rearranging the furniture as well as your goals, and your skill set. Yes, you will continue to shapeshift along with your objectives, and that’s where your spontaneous genius kicks into high gear. Funny how you never quite know what you can do until you have to, thank Uranus for the new improved You!

taurus Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Taurus: There’s no doubt about it, you have the feeling that you have hit the happiness lotto this week. That has everything to do with the fact that beautiful Venus and the big guy Jupiter are dancing in Light of your Sun Sign. You will seldom find others who are willing to work as hard as you do, unless they are other Earth Sign babies. While people may not push as hard as you do to get to the finish line, you will definitely find folks who are willing to make major efforts to help you in this cycle.  Jupiter is kicking everyone in the tusch to remember that every successfully completed chore is about beginning, middle, and end. With a small assist from Mercury slowing things down, this is the cycle where systems get cleaned up and ancient projects find completion. And the great thing is that you will find yourself surrounded by people who are rolling up their sleeves and awaiting your instruction. Sure, it’s good that you are looong on patience, since most of us are just a wee bit mentally stuck. Just speak slowly and maybe colour code things as best you can, and willing minds will do their best to wrap things up and get ‘er done.

gemini Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Gemini: This cycle will find you running from being Mr/Mrs/Miss information to
Mr/Mrs/Miss Congeniality. Lesser flexible folks tend to be brittle by this time in a Retrograde Mercury cycle, but No not you. When Map Quest lies and you get lost on your way to an important meeting, you will go old school and ask a local for directions. When the fax is on the fritz, you will hop in the car and hand deliver the important documents to the client. And when the car coughs and limps to the side of the road, you read a book while you wait for the Road Service truck to arrive. All of this is due to the fact that regardless of the kerfuffles and crises you never loose your sense of humour. Granted not everyone gets your humour, but that’s never stopped you before. And the folks who do appreciate your humour, will match you story for story. Laughter really is the best medicine, and it heals all kinds of stresses. While it’s never fun when Mercury goes a little wacky,  this is not your first retrograde rodeo, nor will it be your last. This week is spent in the shadow zone of the cycle, and that’s where the best work gets done.
Sure Mercury’s silly games can be vexing, but in the end a better form of sharing data will be born. So what if the lights go out in the Book Mobile, you and your razor sharp wit will turn it into a party bus until help arrives. It’s all good !

cancer Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Cancer: This week begins with a major Lunar High for you, so think PMS to the 10th power. Now that’s not such a bad thing, since it will force you to be a wee bit gentler with yourself than you have been lately. In fact you will find nice little ways to reward yourself, which will hopefully become part of your daily regimen.
You are presently in an active cycle of letting go. Yeah, you with the crate of the kid’s refrigerator art in the basement, and the 500 Football trophies, which have been gathering dust since the 80s. You have amazing plans for the future and the more of the mental/physical/emotional clutter that you can bag and tag and drag to the curb, the more you will have room for new opportunities and relationships.
That is not to say that you are writing people off by any means, you are simply done done done with feeding into codependent relationships and the gut wrenching, neverending cycle of sticky Karma that follows. As you well know, Karma is a cranky Goddess and she’s wearing 5 inch stilettos, so her feet hurt.
Imagine how cranky you get when your feet hurt and add that into infinity, and you’ll have a glimpse into her perspective. In fact she would prefer to pass you by, so when you make better choices she can move on to nasty used car salesman and dirty politicians. Heck, by making it easier on yourself, you do the same for her. And the goodness in your life moves that yuck away. Begone yuck.

leo Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Leo: Expectations are kinda like emotional blowfishes. One minute they are swimming around in your psyche, not bothering anybody and the next they puff up like Shamoo, and from then on, there’s just no way you can think straight. Since you are knee deep in your philosophical journey, it stands to reason that you would be looking back at the unhappy events of the Past, in most instances those spiritual speed bumps were built upon silly expectations of some sort. Whether you had set the bar too high for yourself, or for someone else, now that you have a healthy distance from the experience, you can see how it was only common sense that it ended so poorly. We have no right to bring expectations to others, it’s always a loose loose kinda thing. Everyone is where he or she is meant to be in that exact moment. With time, experience and maturity every one of us makes better choices. So when you look back and hear that voice in your head asking you, “What in the world were you thinking ?” forgive it. Forgive the mess, forgive others and most of all forgive yourself. In the act of forgiving, one gives up sad memories for a sense of understanding and acceptance. People can only be who and what they are, yeah that means you and I as well. Sure we can clean up our acts at any time, but first we need the awareness of what needs to be adjusted. Until you forgive it all, you will stay stuck in the Past and the life lesson will continue to recycle. The Past is good for a brief visit, but you really can’t live there.

virgo Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012
Virgo: As Mars backs up his cerebral dumptruck to early degrees of your Sun Sign, you will find yourself Re doing everything. Actually that is the perfect way to celebrate this retrograde cycle. When systems, communications and even our cognitive abilities slowwww down so much, itsa Re world fer sure. This is the time to rethink, retool, reassess, readdress, reevaluate, redesign, redefine, realign and reinvent the way that we all do things. Given enough Re time, you will find the glitches in your systems and the preconceived thought patterns that pull you into fine messes. And you know how Virgos hate messes of any kind. You will actually feel a comfortable distance between yourself and your career in this cycle. Granted you will forever be a workaholic, but you are an artist and a bit of a tree hugger as well. You have so many talents that aren’t expressed via your work world, and they are all seeking meaningful forms of expression. So, yes you can leave the business of business at the business and have what is called a rich and fulfilling life. Jupiter is respectfully questioning your sense of purpose, and gently turning up the pilot light in your heart. If you don’t reeeeally love what you do, you won’t be doing it for much longer. And that is simply magnificent.

libra Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012

Libra: Okay, so Saturn has done a wonderful job of whipping you into shape.
Your career and personal goals are well defined, and laid out in orderly form, so that you that you can follow your plans to success and not fall off the path. Your health regimen is pretty well etched in your mind, so you are doing your best on a daily basis to be healthy and stay that way. Then along comes the Cancer Moon and while you are munching on your roughage for lunch, there’s a hunk of Lemon Meringue Pie calling out your name.” Pssst, I’m Here….you know you want me.”
Darn, all of your firm resolve and yet you know if you look at the mile high pie one more time, it will be yours, yes it will be yours. Here’s the thing, if you allow yourself a small treat every once in a while, your whole diet won’t go off the rails.
If you don’t allow yourself a sweet repast, you may well chip a tooth eating frozen cookie dough. Somewhere there is a midpoint and that dear Libra is your métier.
Ya know there is yogurt made in pie flavours, and with a wee bit of imagination and a good cup of coffee, you could find your appetite sated. One fine chocolate can feed your sweet tooth. Saturn doesn’t want you to suffer, he wants you to be disciplined. The alternative finds you doing an Oprah at the refrigerator door at 3AM, not pretty. Now is the time for everything in moderation, even moderation.

scorpio Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Scorpio: The only thing that can slow you down right now is overthinking things.
I know retro “you know who” has you wondering about your choices, don’t let him get to you. Your intuition is brilliant, but that’s the first message that you get. All of the ideas that follow that original flash can only put you in conflict. Intuition happens in your Psychic Gizzard, which operates on a felt sense level. It’s that awareness that you know what you know, and while you don’t know why you know it, you Know that you know it, ya know ? Perhaps it’s more about what you want to see as compared to what you actually do see. In any case, fighting with your intuition never works. Indeed as your intuition amps up, it may be a tad off putting, but heck you have always known which garage sale to go to and which one to drive past. This is simply a meatier version of the same inner vision. The more you trust it, the more brilliant it will become. Sure you do love to brood, but you can save that for much more important stuff like our eco system. Mercury is simply obfuscating and that gets you ruminating. Now is the time to stay out of your head and deep in the grasp of your Psychic Gizzard. The Psychic Gizzard is never lies.

sagittarius Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Sagittarius: If you have a niggling feeling that you are all alone in the spotlight, you are so right. Not only are all the right people watching you right now,
They have important plans for you. It’s truly wonderful that you are doing so much, not to impress anyone else but, rather to keep that momentum alive that you have built. That’s the beauty part, now that you have more effective systems in your daily regimen, you are actually getting more done in less time. Thank Mars in Virgo for that, everyone is getting Virgo lessons which began last November and will end just when you need to buy school supplies. For now you are only as good as your organization skills. Heck, you have probably bought Sticky notes even. A Virgo must have invented them, where would the structured world be sans Sticky Notes ? Anyway, you have built up a great head of steam and just like training for a TriAthalon, once you get past a personal wall, it’s amazing how much more you can get done. Within a month or so, you will be so in charge of your schedule that it will seem toooo easy, at which time you will hit the Gym on the way home. Yep endorphins can be your friend, and with this kind of energy moving you along, who needs caffeine ?

capricorn Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Capricorn: This is the cycle where you will do your ancestors proud. Regardless of wherever you have chosen to plant yourself in the business world, you are soaring at the heights of your ability. Not that you could ever be a slacker mindja, but, sometimes circumstances don’t always support your unfettered creative genius. Now the cool part is that you will already be One Hot Property, since you will use your flash of genius to save somebody’s bacon. For so long you have been musing on how to do things better/more efficiently/more effectively and such. And just when things grind to a halt, there you are with Plan B, and drop in a whole new system in one fell swoop. And even as you are spinning miracles, you will be recycling ideas, systems and/or stuff, so you save time and money. Thatsa Win/Win Bigger. Honestly now is there anything better than a twofer ? I think not. You are so very resourceful it’s blinding and that’s what makes your Great Great Great Great Granny proud. You come by your work ethic honestly. You are ruled by Saturn and he never takes a sick day. As long as there is work that needs to be done, you can put things aside and knock projects down like ducks in a shooting galley. Take a bow, It’s all about responsibility, respect and honour being a Capricorn, and in this cycle many people will let you know that they are honored to work wicha.

aquarius Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Aquarius: No matter how very motivated you are this week, please allow lotsa flex time in your schedule. We will all be dealing with the shadow of Retrograde Mercury, that’s the 3 days before he straightens up and flies Direct.
And that means that in the interim every day is “Anything Can Happen Day!”
The shadow of Retrograde Mercury is kinda like the tail of a comet. Yes, Mercury is going Direct this week on 4/4 at 6:11 AM and I am right there with ya. Half of my Chart is ruled by Mercury and this cycle has gifted me with many foul ups bleeps and blunders. My Printer/Fax/Leg Waxer/Coffee Maker is spitting up.
Whenever I get near it, it makes a creepy clicking noise, perhaps it’s possessed.
Then, the screen blinks and tells me it’s busy. Busy ? Like I’m not as busy as it is ? My Computer thinks that it’s 12/31/69, and it won’t let me reset the Clock. It just warns me about a conflict every time I boot it up. And you can’t get me to talk about my poor Jeep. So I’m thinking yall should party along with me. The very first thing I shall do once Mercury is once again sane, is to have a perfect breakfast. I will feast on a large gooey cinnamon bun and a perfect cup of coffee.
I’m drooling already, or maybe that’s just the effects of Mercury mucking with half of my chart. This is just creative chaos testing our reflexes, things that need attention are Demanding it, and soon, veddy soon this too shall pass. This is not a life shattering crisis, it’s more like Clean Up On Aisle Five.

pisces Horoscopes For The Week Of April 1, 2012Pisces: By this point of the Mercury Neptune combo in your Sun Sign, you are discovering the difference between feelings and words. Words at best are limited, when feelings lie so deeply buried somewhere behind your spleen. Only creativity can plumb the depths of such emotions. They need a voice. Why not get yourself a copy of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. First you can read it for yourself, then you can share it with your beloveds. Itsa book that will not only explain this kind of sensitivity, but it will offer you a way to acknowledge it, and use it to keep peace in your heart. Okay you still won’t be able to watch that commercial about the abused animals, where they play mooshey music and show hurt critters, but
Why wouldja ? You are wise enough to know that when you actually feel someone else’s pain, you double the energy and make it worse for both of you. Besides that, you have already sent a check to said charity, so you have done what you could. The real healing place for you is in some other world. Movies are good unless you can’t forget that you are watching a movie. TV could work too, unless the commercials run too long in which case, you might forget what you are watching and why. Music, journaling, dance and drum would be quite helpful. Creativity is truly the best panacea for this cycle. After all your Muses are tapping their toes to get your attention. So why not loose yourself in creative work or any kind and you will actually find yourself?

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