Reverend Linda Newman studies the alignment of the stars each week to bring you in depth astrological predictions. She is a third generation astrologer, holistic wellness practitioner and mystic student. You can catch up with her on her weekly radio show Answers on

 Horoscopes For the Week Of December 18, 2011
aries Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Aries: Okay your life continues to shapeshift, but you will find a way to make it your idea. If you glimpse back just a wee bit, you must accept that some of these changes have been in the back of your mind for a while. Granted a lot of these items were on a mostly forgotten, ancient “round to it” list, but the Universe with a great assist from Uranus in your Sun Sign has spun you into action. Change is the only constant in life, and this extended cycle will reinvent you and your whole entire life. Your goals will shift, but that’s to be expected, shift happens. You are not the person you used to be and the new improved You is still forming. Do your best not to judge yourself when you find your old toys no fun and your old dreams just don’t fit any more. In fact the more that you are bored with things the faster they will drift off life morning fog, only to be replaced with ideas and concepts that test you in exciting ways. Your life has become a bit of a Pop Quiz,
This isn’t a pass or fail thing, just a quick test to help you find a better way to ride the winds of change. You may as well make it your idea!

taurus Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Taurus: This week is birthed by a major Lunar High for you, actually with a brilliant Taurus stellium of Moon, Jupiter and Venus, you truly can do No wrong. Think about that for a moment. Life without speed bumps, without hassles, without resistance, nice eh ? Certainly you are still willing to put in your due diligence to get things accomplished, but you really won’t have to reach all that much to wrap things up and move on to more fun endeavors. In fact the only thing that can slow down your successes would be You. Yes You. Remind yourself that you have earned all of this, and stay out of your own way. There is no such thing as luck, there is only timing, and your timing is spot on right now. Yep, you will show up at all the right places at the perfect moment and the good grows exponentially. Then there’s the lovely bonus, of you actually allowing yourself some tasty rewards. Sure, you will always look at the price tag, and get the best deal possible, but these are treats that you might have never considered for yourself in the Past. Remember that Jupiter won’t make his presence in your Sun Sign again for 12 years….2024. Sure you are long on patience, but who really wants to wait for a decade and change to enjoy life this much ? Hopefully not you….just sayin’.

gemini Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Gemini: You are in the process of hitting the relationship lotto. What began as an opportune meeting with friends and friends of friends, will quickly become new symbiotic relationships with equally motivated individuals. Ya know, you don’t even have to be in the same industry to share ideas, since good business moves are good business moves. Okay this isn’t all business since you will also share the same wacky view of life and it’s funny moments. We have all had disastrous business ideas, and by now they are mighty funny stories. It’s the fact that those questionable choices that will bring you together. Back in the day, when I helped a friend start one of the first Metaphysical publications that went nationwide, we met all kinds of inventors. Because my friend and I had fought the battle of the budge many times, we were particularly interested in chocolate chip diet cookies, so we both invested in the Wonder Cookie. That cookie had more fiber than Shaker furniture, so it was filling and had the munch factor working.  After a day or two of cookies, we found a not pretty side effect. As a bonus, the Wonder Cookie created a window rattling level of thundering flatulence. Granted, we both looked slimmer since we could only be seen from a distance, but when we pondered on the wonders of the Wonder cookie, we wondered why we hadn’t done more homework. Hmmmm. It’s fun to live and learn, and share the journey, especially with great company, eh ? Enjoy!

cancer Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Cancer: Ah smell the Pine Sol; it’s Spring cleaning on all levels for you. Granted you may unearth a few caca memories as you get to the back of the closets, but
After only a brief Waaaah moment, you will bag them up and drag them directly to the curb. They say that a cluttered environment is a sure sign of a cluttered mind and you are more than ready to free up your mind and unheap your heart. By the time you are bagging up all of those “who the heck am I kidding” clothes, you will find yourself putting the Past where it belongs. You will also discover that since you are no longer dumping expectations on yourself and others, greater opportunities are finding you. There’s this great aspect of not allowing yourself to get hung up on the shoulda/woulda/couldas anymore, in that place of acceptance, inner peace occurs. Even the way that you offer advice to your beloveds is different. In most cases, people need to be listened to as much as they need direction. Of course, you will pour tea and hand out tissues, but it will be from a respectful distance. Retro Merc has many folks in need of walking their thoughts and feelings. In fact it isn’t until they express their concerns that they can see what is actually bothering them. How great that you can nod and smile and assure them wordlessly. Retrograde Mercury babies are expert listeners and that’s what we all must become in this cycle. Consider that the word listen uses the same letters as the word silent, and maybe add some snacks to the tea and sympathy party.

leo Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Leo: You are on a journey, which is intended to feed your Soul. Yes you will still show up at the Dental Floss factory and attend to your duties, but your mind is far far away. You are seeking a belief system that fits all of the moments of your life. Please remind yourself that the journey is the fun part. As long as you have a pulse, you will continue to bloom on a Spiritual level. When you discover that it may take more than one philosophy that fulfills all of your needs, that’s not a bad thing. Settling for something that limits you, is like munching on Spiritual trail mix.
While you may never go hungry, your appetite is never really sated. Now is the time of live experientially. You are so hungry for self knowledge, that your mind will soak up information like a thirsty little sponge. No matter how disparate the variety of systems that you examine, you will find the constant beliefs that fit your personal truth. I was raised a Catholic/Methodist/ verry reform Jewish/
Shamanic/Bhuddist, and eventually became a Spiritualist Minister. While mum was certifiable, she also knew that nobody could tell me how to find my path to God.
The beauty of finding your own way, it that it doesn’t need to be explained or defended. It’s about living a good life as a well intentioned person. Refuse to be
Labeled. Follow your path to inner peace, and others will be drawn to your Light.

virgo Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012
Virgo: Now that Mercury has rolled back to Pisces, you are feeling a bit like a time traveler. Yes you know you had this conversation with somebody before and at that time, they obviously weren’t listening. Granted you are the corporate fixer upper, and as such your Inbox will fill with many mysteries. In the Past, you felt the need to be everything for everybody, but that was back in your Idiot Whisperer cycle. Now that you are more selective about where and how you use your energy, many silly messes will just have to wait. You are done working through your lunch break and you are finished wasting your weekends. Now that you are dedicated to having a life, it’s amazing how things will just keep until you can get to them. Okay you Will have to do a bit of retrograde triage, inter office hangnails on the left, terrible terminal terminals on the right, so that you can address them in order of importance. Please remember that those of us who are Direct Mercury babies are experiencing a mental/verbal duh duh disconnect.
We don’t mean to babble mindlessly, it’s just a long search to get to the right words. Until Mercury goes Direct remember the timeless truth, “The speed of Light is much faster than the speed of sound. That’s why some of us look so bright until we actually speak.”

libra Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012

Libra: Thanks to Saturn moving in with you, there are some mighty amazing things that you have done, things that you never suspected you could do. In times of crisis, you are free from panic, since it finds you a body in motion. Just when you thought you had run out of magick, Viola you pull yet another rabbit out of your hat. However in this world of magick you are now Teller, not Penn. Penn is the big guy who hogs the conversation. Teller is the little dude who expresses so much without ever saying a word. He is also the person who gets the most laughs with his facial expressions. With Mercury being well, you know, temporarily wacko, non verbal communication is the best way to go. With just a slightly raised eyebrow or a quick roll of your eyes, you can make a powerful statement. Now the cool part is that you will find your support crew winking back in acknowledgment. The sheer fact that you have a support crew is kinda nifty, since in the Past you were so busy helping others that it didn’t occur to you to ask for help for yourself.
That was before Saturn moved in and started walking around in your best bathrobe and hogging your TV remote. While he may have felt like an uninvited guest, his constant companionship for the last 2 years and change has made you a better person. By this autumn, you are going to miss him, but you will never forget what he has taught you.

scorpio Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Scorpio: It’s back to the batcave for you. Why not just consider this week a nice healthy Moon Lodge? No the family won’t have to leave your Dinner at the door and run away to avoid you, in fact you will probably show up for meals. Buuut when you need to be alone, you certainly will be alone. While you have bested most of your nasty habits, there are still some situations that can trigger them. That’s why you need solitary time in which to sort things through. With Neptune at critical degrees of Pisces and Mercury backing up in Pisces, you can feel the energy mooshing you just a little bit. There a part of your psyche that really wants to speak up and correct people in their delusional choices and another part of you that knows of delusion with a capital D. Delusional folks hear only what they want to hear and even your blazing powers of perseverance can’t make them budge. While you can sit back and wait for the Goddess Karma to appear soundlessly in her 5 inch stilettos, you still have that teensy stirring that wants to keep folks out of harm’s way. That’s Neptune tweaking your heartstrings, and he has stirred emotions that you thought you could control. Hah, you can only control how you process your life lessons, to ask more than that of yourself is just plain silly.

sagittarius Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Sagittarius: Be cautious of anything or anyone who tells you how Easy things will be. See those red lights flashing and prepare to come to a complete stop and rethink your plans. It’s like those projects that say ” some assembly required.”
Some my foot. That’s when you get that pretty home entertainment center at the big box store and schlep it home, only to discover that inside the crate are 50 itty bitty shoebox sized boxes enclosed. Sure you can make a pot of coffee and maybe hit a Red Bull or two, but most likely the first day will be spent sorting out the bits in numerological and alphabetical order. A few days later, you will have it all built, but there will be a few pieces missing. Hmmm, that’s when you drop them in junk drawer and move on with your life. My beloved Father In Law was so
perturbed by child guard caps that he took a saw to all of his medication bottles.
Imagine the looks we got at the Pharmacy  Not everything is well thought out, so Plan B is your best friend this week. You can handle it, this is a responsibility cycle for you. Whether it’s big boy pants or big girl shoes that you need to wear, you Will be combat ready for all contingencies. Just remember that when somebody says “easy” it will probably take you twice as long as usual to get things accomplished. Luckily you have great stubborn buttons, since they will serve you well.

capricorn Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Capricorn: Remember the old cowboy movies where the good guys wore white hats and the bad guys wore back hats ? Well that’s You styling and smiling in the white hat during this cycle. Okay, you are used to having folks call on you when things go wonky, that’s why you are considered an expert. And you do enjoy untwisting the mysteries of why things go awry. The sad truth is that most of this agida could have been avoided if people had only listened to you in the Past. The beauty part is that they Will listen to you in the future, even if you have to hand them a notepad and recommend that they take notes. Some of this is simply retrograde “you know who” slowing down systems and communications so that we can find the glitches. Sincere people will appreciate your kindness and eventually reward you for it. Granted it’s a bit caca that you couldn’t head this mess off at the pass, but, geez you just weren’t meant to. Rest assured that if these crises fall into the shoulda/woulda/coulda variety, you will be determined that this is the individuals very last second chance. The next time that they appear with an unnecessary mess for you to fix, it goes on the bottom of the pile. And you may hit that moment where folks have to take a number and wait their turn. Fair is fair. Yeah you will remain the hero who never looses his white hat, but you will also know when to hop on your horse and mosey out of town.

aquarius Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Aquarius: This cycle find your networking like a pro. Truly successful people understand the power of delegating authority, and since there’s only one of you it’s the only way to go. One of the great aspects of retrograde you Irk is that you find yourself bumping into people whom you have been missing for far too long. Sure it is always a great thing when you get to catch up with friends, but this experience appears with a big fat bonus. In that “catching up” conversation, you will discover that these people have skills that you didn’t know about. Maybe it’s a business that they have recently started, or connections that they have that will come on handy. Sooo in the process of living you will garner information that will serve you well in your business. Remember to fill your pockets with business cards before you go anywhere, since opportunity will find you at all times. Between your friends and their friends and their friends friends friends you will be planting seeds for success that will bloom for the next 18  months. And it will all seem to be a fun coincidence. Honey, there’s no such thing as a coincidence, they are just miracles for which God doesn’t need to get the credit. Life is good, n’est pas ?

pisces Horoscopes For The Week Of March 25, 2012Pisces: Yes, I know you truly want to listen to people but, you presently have a mental 4 minute egg timer kinda attention span. Hopefully folks will make their point succinctly, since after that aforementioned 4 minute time span, all you will hear is blah blah blah. Certainly we can blame to combo pack of Neptune in Pisces and Mercury backing his dump truck into Virgo. In fact one of the first things that they taught me back when I had my Guvmint job was to be certain of where and how to assign  blame. The blame game is at best silly, but it does give you a minute to breathe, ad mentally move away from the issues. Once your mind is settled you can focus betterer. On a good day, you are nearly as ADD as I am. Sure we mean well, and even when we got off to a good start things are just fine until something shiny goes by. Hmmm. Perhaps, as soon as you find yourself beaming up, it might be prudent to tell the other person that you are just a wee bit distracted with other business. Then you could ask them in all sincerity to send you an email with full information. It’s good that you know that not everybody “gets” you. The folks who do will offer you the space that you need. As for the ones that follow you and talk atcha through the bathroom door, well those are the folks who can fill up your voice mail. Folks will adapt. When my kids need my undivided attention they just leave a trail of M&Ms from moi to their problems. It works every time !

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