Reverend Linda Newman studies the alignment of the stars each week to bring you in depth astrological predictions. She is a third generation astrologer, holistic wellness practitioner and mystic student. You can catch up with her on her weekly radio show The Wake Up Call on

aries Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Aries: This is a perfect cycle in which to surround yourself with close friends and beloveds. Sure the week begins with a major Lunar High for you, but you really don’t feel like donning your pretty party clothes and gathering around the “cheese ball punch bowl “crowd. With Uranus conjunct the Moon in your Sun Sign you are experiencing some Charlie Sheen mood swings and so the more you can plop yourself down in familiar territory the better you will feel. The single greatest way to spend this cycle is sharing stories of the good old days with the folks who were with you way back when. Even past catastrophes can make for some mighty funny stories once the crisis is past. Did I mention the time I blew up the fuel oil furnace, when I fiddled with the reset button in its innards ? After the whoosh and the loud clanging sound of the heat ducts hitting the basement floor, it was kinda funny. My eyebrows grew back in just a few months. No biggy. By finding the time to share the good old days with your beloveds, you can get a better perspective of the cyclical nature of life. By this time next year, these will be the good old days…go figya.

taurus Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Taurus: With Jupiter backing up to the very first degree of Taurus, you are finding creative ways to make your life easier. Granted you do have a few new responsibilities, but they are already factored into your schedule. Yep that cute line of penguins has been listening carefully to your advice and they are making some progress at being more self-sufficient. Some of them are even venturing to the waters edge, but all the while they are looking at you over their shoulders.
Admit it, you are gonna miss them bigtime when they waddle off. What makes it worth all of the penguin poo and fish schlepping is that they actually do listen and learn. That’s all you truly want of others. If folks are willing to listen to good advice and make better choices after the fact, you feel great about the time you share with them. It’s the ones who are determined Not to listen who will get to miss you. Jupiter is force-feeding you a new diet of self worth, tasty isn’t it ? Besides that, you are busy, so many penguins, so much fun. Cute aren’t they? And they are always dressed for a fancy party, so party why doncha ? Somebody pass the Russian teacakes, please. Tea, yes that would be lovely !

gemini Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Gemini: Yes I know I have been chirping at you for months now about the great successes in your career. Some of it has been baby steps, so up until Now you have been more than able to keep track of your agenda. Yeah, it was nice while it lasted. Now is the time to figure out where you can find some wiggle room in your everyday list. Between the Eclipse patterns and mercury doing his foolishness you are about to be called on for many last minute favours. Breathe with me, you can do it. First line up your big kid clothes and fill your pockets with your business cards. Then take a spare change of clothes, cover them with a dry cleaning bag and leave them in your car along with some nice looking shoes.
Ya know, it’s funny but folks often judge you by your shoes. Charge your cell phone and be sure that your car charger thingy hasn’t disappeared under the seat.  And sleep when you can. There is a bullet train named success, heading down the tracks that will soon whisk you off to many great ventures. If you are prepared you will be able to hop on just in time. If you are not prepared, it may drag you down the tracks.  For the next few weeks, it’s a regimen of Red Bull and Stress tabs….just consider it cross training.

cancer Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Cancer:  Woohoo it’s the holidays. You can just see yourself riding in a sleigh
to Granny’s house, with the fur lap robe and the perfectly dressed and oh so
happy kiddies bouncing up and down. White stuff is gently drifting down, and everywhere you look around you the land glitters and glistens. It’s like a fairyland. You arrive at Granny’s and as she opens the door you hear lovely music and smell the pumpkin pie and turkey that have just come out of the oven. Laughter and joy surround you as you are welcomed in and join the festivities. But Wait that isn’t your life, it’s a Hallmark special that you watch as you try to figure out how to wrap a treadmill. The kids are fighting, your Spouse is passed out on the couch while still clutching the TV remote and somewhere a popcorn is burning. And Now you cannot find the darn scotch tape.  Why not consider setting the bar a wee bit lower than that greeting card vision that looks so lovely but has precious little to do with the real world? Didja know that kids will eat cookies out of a box and not care that you didn’t have the time to bake? And drop in company can help you watch for the pizza delivery person. Sure you can still spend a whole week working on your holiday meal, but in the interim, you can ease up on yourself and have a life. Just sayin…

leo Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Leo: Everyone has grotty habits, it is part of the human condition. Since you are in a Moon Lodge cycle, now is the perfect time to muse on how you want to reinvent yourself for the impending New Year, Now here’s the great News. You can use the next eclipse to kick all of your best intentions into high gear. The Full Moon, which will also be the Eclipse on December 10th is already kicking up some powerful winds of change. What would you like to change about yourself? C’mon we can all use this time of transformation. Whether it’s about making the budget budge or setting better boundaries in relationships, or not drinking the chocolate syrup right out of the bottle, Now is the time to retool your thinking. Once you put your thinker to it, there isn’t any personal beastie that you can best. Your mind is an amazing generator. By creating healthy new behaviors, you birth new paths in your circuitry. Once those happy synapse processes are established you will find yourself hard wired for a better life. Sure beats burning out your mother board, eh ?  So fear not, just take a really serious inventory and find those caca things that need to be schmeissed. The Lunar Eclipse is on the way,
Now is the time to let go and let God. Easy Peasy.

virgo Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011
Virgo: With Mars so happily parked in your Sun Sign, you have become a true force of nature. Your gifts of organization are so razor sharp that your Ruler being Retro has barely slowed you down. In fact not much other than an act of God can slow you down these days. The good news is that you are guaranteed to keep your holidaze simple, your priorities are more inclined to taking care of business than chit chat and sugar cookies. The bad news is that your earth deep ever-resilient patience is MIA. Back before Mare gave you this cerebral hotfoot, you spent countless hours going over and over each and every detail with needy folks, who probably didn’t quite get it the first time, or maybe the second. You would hold their paws and gently walk them through the process and then sit there knowing they had you on speed dial for a refresher. Now you are more inclined to smack a sticky note on their foreheads and wish them luck with their ventures. Sure your kind, nurturing nature is still there, but not for folks who consistently refuse to get a clue. Given 4 to 6 weeks you will be back to schooling fools, but for now you have an agenda and many many deadlines. Isn’t it nice to step back and let someone else be the designated Idiot Whisperer for a while?

libra Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011

Libra: Now is the time for you to make a list of the folks whose behavior gets on your last good nerve. Sure, it isn’t so much about them, but more about why you
let them get under your radar. Next you need to step outside of the situation and look at it as an uninvolved observer, a percipient witness of sorts. I have a tendency to get sucked into surreality TV shows. Yes, I know they are as genuine as Wrestling, but the minute I hear somebody say, “I’m not here to make friends,” I grab my coffee and watch the drama unfold.” Now here’s the odd part, regardless of whether it’s a Gordon Ramsey fest ( where do they find those people?) or Top Chef ( funny how most of my favourites are about food, eh ?)
I have the unerring ability to pick the Winner. In every cast of characters, there will be a person or two whom I simply can’t stand (think smarmy Marcelle on Top Chef ) and they generally win. Hmmm. Why I continue to torture myself watching them is beyond me, it must be the same synapse process that makes folks watch train wrecks? However, I do have the power of the mute button, so when the irksome folks begin to babble, I hit that puppy. That’s what you need to do until you have a little deeper well of Zen from which to draw. Now is the time to go to that mental zone that you explored back when your Mum was nagging you to clean up your room when you were a small child, “lalalalalalalalala I can’t hear you !” Hit that mental Mute button and Don’t let the craziness of life enter your sacred space. And don’t get me started on the Beverly Hills Wife with the big fish lips….really ?

scorpio Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Scorpio: Just when everyone was getting accustomed to missing you, darned if you aren’t back from your batcave. Yes, we missed you, but we know better than to interrupt a Scorpio in mid think/dwell/obsess/brood mode. Itsa process, so we simply stay out of the way whilst you journey it. Granted you have a lot of catching up to do. Sure the bills got paid and the cat got fed, but once you finished your necessary stuff, “poof” you were gone again. Now don’t be too upset that we did so well in your absence, it isn’t that we didn’t need your help, we just knew that you had to walk your thoughts for a while. And yes, our schedules have shifted some, but that was a kinda work in progress thing. Life does that ya know. Given a few days you will be up to speed with everybody and everything. No you didn’t miss Christmas, and that did look like you at the table for Thanksgiving. There is still ample time for you to make your list for Santa. Just think how different that list is Now that you have had your necessary downtime. Certainly it may seem that life changes in a dime, but these important transformations have been in the planning stages for quite a while. Now all you need to do is open yourself to the great stuff on the horizon and let the Eclipse do it’s job. De Moon she is veddy wise.

sagittarius Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Sagittarius: With Mercury backing up in your Sun Sign, you are not quite the life of the party this week, nor should you be. Unless and until you do some very
Necessary soul searching, all of those voices in your head will keep you awake at night. You probably feel a bit jet lagged and have little desire to go anywhere this week. Why not just hang out and deck the halls? If you have already shopped, you could wrap gifties, and when in doubt make cookies. Okay, you may not have the patience to do the whole recipe thing, so just pick up some ready made rolls of cookie dough and sprinkle on the sugar. Heck just pulling them out of the oven can heal your spirits, and if that’s waaaaay too much of an effort for you, raw cookie dough is a fun treat. What you truly need is some quiet contemplative time.
The ghosts of many holidays past are looking at you in the rearview mirror as you try and find a radio station that isn’t drowning you in Christmas music. It’s only natural to wax nostalgic at this time of year. Only by honestly journeying your memories can you be certain that you don’t drift from nostalgic straight into maudlin. No need for pity parties when self-realization is so healing. Once Mercury goes Direct you will have better responses to personal experiences, this is where you plant those seeds.

capricorn Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Capricorn: Not that you have ever been all that interested other than for the entertainment factor, but now that Jupiter is doing a happy dance with Venus and Pluto in your Sin Sign, you are silently backing away from inter office politics and family soap operas. This is the part of the cowboy movie where the pioneers, that would be you and your clan are circling up the wagons and making a nice fire to keep the critters away at night. Not only are your needs getting simpler all of the time, you are well aware of just how necessary it is for you to have nice fuzzy comfort zones. This is security of a kind that has nothing to do with IRAs and bonuses and everything to do with honest healthy company. Heck you may even find time for a quick power nap. Sure, you will meet every deadline at work, regardless of how deadly they are. And you will keep in touch with your friends and beloveds, but at this time you are more inclined to have a small gathering at home than to head out for a huge group grope kinda party. Leave the pretty party clothes in the closet and look for your favourite ratty bathrobe. It has been proven in double blind studies that ratty bathrobes have incredible healing powers. Listen your favourite chair is calling your name, resistance is futile.

aquarius Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Aquarius: With Neptune running a fog machine in your Sun Sign and Saturn trining him, you are making a conscious effort to listen to your inner dialogue.
Now that you have made a new determination to work on your wellness, you also know that while you pretty much love everybody, there are a few folks in your life whose actions are mighty toxic. Since there is no way you can change someone else’s behavior, that means that you have to change your responses, or maybe just go underground while you figure it out. Okay you can be the leader of airheads when you loose yourself in a project and since your health is the only project that truly matters now, it’s time to make the world so much white noise.
Journaling would be especially helpful right now, since you can use your scribblings to see where and when your days take a wrong turn. Then look around at who was keeping you company when your mood did the “crash and burn thing.” Given just a few days of serious self-study, you will know who supports your dreams and who just doesn’t have the capacity to do so. Nobody is right, nobody is wrong, you just need to be surrounded by folks who will give you a goose toward your successes. For now your archetype Must be Happy Bunny, self aware rabbit that he is. Remember his favourite phrase, ” You keep talking. I’m not listening. How strange is that ?”

pisces Horoscopes For the Week Of December 4, 2011Pisces: The present Mars opposition to your Sun Sign has your energy level not so level. Sure it’s with ya as you make your lists and check them twice, but it tends to drop just as you pull into the parking lot at the Maul ( yes Maul is a verb not a noun.) So fighting the Shopocalypse won’t be all that hard for you. Heck there isn’t much that you can’t purchase on line and even though Mercury is still playing his silly little reindeer games, there is still time to get your goodies delivered. Geez, you will even be saving on gas and thus doing a good deed for our eco system. The wisest system for you is to line up many little short-term projects. Quick fix kinda things when lined up together make quite a large difference. Also remember to make sure that most of your decorating is applicable to your home after the holidaze are just a memory. A little spackle here and some touch up paint there and Viola, your nest is lovely. One of the biggest downhill slides to this season is that after all is said and done, the house seems so drab and empty. Soooo, by adding some nice touches to your environment, you will still have a lovely place to enjoy well into the New Year. Sure you can place the fine china on the buffet, but chances are good that company will eat off of pretty paper plates this year. Keep it simple. You will be back in your body, but not for a month or so, please be gentle with yourself.


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